ITSY-BITSY, MI AMOR

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ITSY-BITSY, Mi Amor

I said i chose the term EROTIC for February because it gives me an opportunity to be raw, primitive and vulgar about emotions and equally flexible. The word LOVE is so unique and weighs too much, I leave it for the heart. ‘Cause what is common lives in our loins, that burning sensation that often look like love – I have been guilty but I won’t judge myself today. When I was writing this it took me back to a moment I could have lived but even at that, experience lives us with choices of which is better to live: between the search of a long-lasting happily constructive partnership or instant gratifications, lust, seduction, benefits, love affairs, lost loves, amnesia, regrets, the often search for happiness that found a place in us but we cannot see, then this itty-bitty love we finally settle for, to quench an undying thirst.. but the gasoline in it stretches it further…

DEDICATED TO THIS OTHERSIDE OF LOVE…

ITSY-BITSY, Mi Amor

SHE & then…HIM

Oh babe it sounded like it was it, when we first lit, I could only see the “IT” & neglected the “BIT”.

Isn’t this the perfect world they tell me do not exist? Why are your words so perfect, why are my laughs so real? Why do our words feel so ethnic?  You think I mean ethnic because it depicts linguo compatibility…hmmm that too, maybe? But I dare say ethnic because it reminds me of the soil, of originality – that here you stand, my Adam and there you stand, my Eve?

Why are we denying ourselves of what is insatiable and deep and perfect?  What do you say? I do not hear you, lover! Speak louder – Oh fear, oh deceit, oh guilt, oh indecision, oh expectations, oh indiscipline, oh betrayals, how do I live with myself? These persons bickering inside and outside of my door!  And they all get louder… calling me out! But as I hold the door knob, we pull back, today we use our xylophones and deafen the lamentation, and we lay by our sides.

In our perfect world we live. No worries, no troubles, no tribulations, no judging, no responsibility just our love? Na, just our obsession, our self-fish-less-ness, OUR POSSESSION!

But I, while I sleep-walk, I murmur: “Mi Hombre”…But oh no, wide awake now looking at my palms and seeing the traces of my future, I don’t see you there so I denounce you now: “No No Hombre” – I don’t see you either: “No no Corazon”! Cause in my jiggled sleep we live but awake, when you hold my hand only two fingers entwine, and now I see a 20 that looked a 120 ‘tage,

And then I am reminded what we share isn’t the Real but an Itsy-Bitsy love affair.

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