THE KNACK FOR BROKEN THINGS

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1992

Isn’t it that they say only a patient needs a doctor, a broken car needs a mechanic, a broken pipe needs a plumber, a torn dress needs a seamstress, empty pages need to be filled, empty hearts need to replenished…

All my life, I realized I had interest in broken things; things and people that needed to be fixed and I never knew why. Perfect… perfect bored me whether in choosing friends, relationships, acquaintances, clients; I found the misunderstood, misconstrued, complicated, shattered;  intriguing. And there laid my bigger purpose, and I was oblivious of it.

You see, Most of the times we give such accolades to Doctors, Teachers, Technicians, Engineers; results that can be physically examined and seen, and I have been none of the above. So I never thought my love for these “lesser things” or “lesser persons” mattered much.

I began wondering if it all came from a broken place, if I was trying to relate with a place I had been in so many times, if I saw my own personal struggles through their eyes; Perhaps, but if I had gone through those tunnels and found my light, then I was a winner, I had triumphed and for a purpose too. Because many a times, we get lost in the tunnel, its darkness dim our eye sights and we cannot find our way out – sad but true. And it is hard to lead from a place of darkness. You need to find the light, you need to support your sides and walk through to the end…

“And Then My Voice”

In my victory, facing my light, i used my voice, and people around me listened but I was not attentive myself. Then because they listened, I started paying attention to my words, patterns and I knew I was no medical expert but I had a cocky raw talent that could cure emotional cancer – starting from within myself.

The Capacity To Love

And then I synced my voice with my gift of LOVING. God gave me this capacity to LOVE, and I never understood why it was this enormous. It was always too much for one person, always too good to be true, I made it look so ordinary, THE PEOPLE could almost forget they had never seen it or will never see it again. And until I realized I had been selfish in my distribution and had targeted the right market but not the required number of stalls, did I understand why I had been ordained the BLESSING which often looked like a curse. The “lesser” entourage (consequently, a good majority) needed it to be greater.

YET, the battle gets even stiff. Because, because BROKENNES is all this category is familiar with, they too often UNDERUSE or OVERUSE this NEW THING they see or experience not because they are terrible people, but I only later understood because they fear to be exposed of the depths of their fears and insecurities, and vulnerability. So my anger and often frustration at the end of the day towards these PEOPLE turn to compassion and understanding and even GREATER LOVE. Through all my journey and encounters, I concluded at the end, there’s no bow nor arrow, no spear nor shackle, spade nor spike that can pierce, break or dig as the force of LOVE – Love always prevails – At the end Greatness is always BORN.

Forget Not, To Look Out For Yourself

PAUSE, we should remember never to get drowned, or over-consumed giving to others and forget to give to ourselves. Remember part of loving begins from within. So when you feel overwhelmed giving, especially being painfully overwhelmed, take a break, walk away, space out, but do not hate, Love could always be given from a considerable distance, remain conscious of your purpose and who you are dealing with.  And just one day, if they get bold or brave enough, they will tell you what you did them and the Great lesson you taught them… There’s a harvest in this all… NEVER FORGET – You build yourself in the process and you save a soul, isn’t that why we were born?

And because, I wasn’t born ALONE in this, I thought I share me with You, so You see You.

MORE LOVE… FOR A GREATER COURSE, Passionistas.

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